6 tips to creating a genuine-connection & avoid a root and boot
One of the most common question’s people ask me is how do you make sure it is a genuine connection not just a root and boot when you first meet someone? The following 6 tips have been written to help you to understand your standards and guide the dating journey to a place that is based on finding a genuine connection and avoid the feeling of being used or lead on and in turn aiding you to find what you want, not what you are settling for. I believe that due to the fact that there are so many beautiful people out there, who offer many different qualities, it can be confusing when it comes finding someone to connect with on many levels, not just the physical. Then it is scary to trust if they are being honest, not just leading you on, dam right it can be hard! It is one thing to find a connection with someone, it is another to uncover if it is going to be just lust or love! The questions we ask ourselves sound a little bit like this. Are they telling the truth or just what I want to hear? Do they want a relationship or a root and boot? Will I hear from them after I sleep with them? Are they leading me on? Are they seeing someone else? How do you know? “Everyone I’ve dated only wanted one thing, surely this is the same old crap”. Dating, regardless of how you found each other is a bit frustrating, “so sick of time wasters”. I have found that online dating is not the best forum for finding more than a physical connection unless you have patience and a lot of time. So many people, so little time, it becomes so overwhelming that we often give up and not even try, or go with who we feel is the most attractive and potentially miss the best connection. I prefer the traditional forms of dating – introduction through friends, meet somewhere local to you for example; the shops or at your your place of interest/hobby, parties and things like that. The pub and bar are not as successful as it tends to end in a one nighter, (not that there is anything wrong with that) that is up to you and the choice you make at the time. You are also in control of where you want it to go and are allowed to say no if you don’t want to sleep with them. Here are the 6 tips as promised – implement them and see the difference in the people you meet and the dates you are going on. Even if it means you are going on less “dates” I always prefer quality over quantity. 6 tips to make sure it is a genuine connection not just a root and boot… 1. Look deeper than just the physical When you are out take a look around the room, don’t just go straight for the person you think is the hottest and then spend all night with that person. Speak to a few people and listen to the way they interact with you. I am not saying be a flirt or a player, I am suggesting to be sociable, you will soon find a connection with someone and feel a “vibe” that goes deeper than a QF. The funny thing is it’s generally not the initial person you were first attracted to that will be the person you connect with the most on a deeper level than the initial physical attraction. Sometimes it is, but mostly we aren’t open to meeting anyone other than the hottest person in the room and compatibility wise it isn’t always right with that person and we make the wrong choice based on the sexual side. Stay open minded and allow people to speak to you first rather than allowing your genitals to make the choice. If you are using dating apps, read their profile and see if what they are saying connects with you and test yourself, go on a date with someone for more than the images, you may surprise yourself, I have many times. 2. Listen more, speak less Listen for the language they are using, if they are talking about their ex often, about partying and drinking, they don’t have many career goals or future plans for their lives; you will see that they really aren’t thinking much about a relationship or their future. They are stuck in the past and aren’t ready to move forward – they will be eventually, but not right now. You can’t change that, only they can. Don’t hang around waiting for that time to happen as eventually you will start to push and then you become the annoying person, even though you are trying to be supportive, it is a very unattractive quality and can be seen as “trying to change them” – you never want to be THAT person. Be assertive, listen for cue’s and obvious signs to show you if they want more or just a root and boot. You can choose what you want but this will allow you to not be let down as you will notice the language and their signs. Some are really good at fooling you with their “facade” but you will get good at trusting, seeing past the “bulls**t” and following your instinct. This will allow you to progress with them in a way you want, on your terms with no expectations only an understanding of what you want. Enjoy the journey and the ride but be smart. Blaming them for leading you on won’t be a thing anymore as you are empowered to make your own choices and have no expectations, only standards. 3. Learn about them through questions It is easy to talk about ourselves to impress. It is better to listen more, honestly answer the questions you are asked and ask questions to learn about them. If
