Celebrating Belinda’s 40th Birthday
Thank YOU So Much For Being Apart Of MY Life! You have a special place in my heart. Even if I have never met you and you are watching from afar, I appreciate you more than you know. During this process, I became very present with how much I have not only achieved but more importantly – how grateful I am for all of the things that have grown me, the challenges, the grief, the loss, and the toxic relationships. They have all taught me what I want and what I deserve and are pushing me to live my purpose of helping others to see just truly how special they are and that all the challenges are blessings, happening for you. I also saw just how much love I have surrounding me, and how much love I have to give. I have been blessed, and I am so grateful. I encourage you to look back over your life and put together a compilation of YOU. It isn’t self-absorbed, it is freeing, inspiring, and truly enlightening. It will shift you from that negative headspace into seeing just how special you are. And that there is more to come. Please leave a comment on any fun, beautiful, transformative, happy, experiences you have with Belinda that you would like to share. sharing love is also receiving love. Enjoy the next 40 years and live it doing the things you absolutely love!
Ep 4 – Belinda Love in the R.O.A.R, Commitment Issues
Is there a commitment issue epidemic? Did Nick Cummins aka the Honey Badger from the 2018 series, season 6 of The Bachelor, demonstrate that Australian men just don’t want commitment and they aren’t ready for love? Are men simply committed to partying and being boys? I reveal my thoughts on the topic, why I believe Nick didn’t pick anyone and how to handle this perpetually single epidemic. To participate in my free live interactive webinar as mentioned in the podcast simply follow the link below to register and I can’t wait to meet you. https://expertise.tv/webinar/5-ways-to-stop-feeling-perpetually-single-and-start-feeling-perpetually-lovable-copy-2018-10-30 Get in touch with me Instagram; https://www.instagram.com/belindalove_coach/ Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/belindalovecoach/
Ep 2 – Belinda Love in the R.O.A.R – Remove Your Love Blocks
We often live in fear and loneliness because we are avoiding heartbreak yet yearn for love. This podcast discusses the exact things holding us back from finding the love we deserve and going from perpetually single to perpetually happy. To get access to the PDF that reveals the seven most common love-blocks head here https://belindalove.com.au/remove-your-seven-love-blocks-pdf/ Thank you for tuning in! xx
Where Did They Go? #Ghosted
This blog will give you some closure around that time you were ghosted.
Reality TV vs Real Love
After failing to find love on The Bachelor I considered applying for Married at First Sight myself for a few reasons; 1) They do the background and compatibility checks 2) Someone is potentially going on there for love and I wouldn’t have to get the whole hey wanna “netfix n chill” conversation (if I was paired with the right person that is haha) 3) It is an interesting once in a lifetime experience that can enable self-development 4) It could save time dating all the wrong people (or waste time being paired with the wrong person) 5) At least on this show I get my own partner and I don’t have to compete with 22 other women, well unless you are on the current season of MAF’s haha. After watching this season, I have a lot of doubt and questions around the casting, pairing, and the intentions of the people on the show. I would have to experience it myself to truly understand, but from my Bachelor experience and what I have seen, the show is based around two things; love and drama. It is very apparent that some couples are matched for love, whilst others are matched for drama and drawing out the worst in each-other. Duh of course, silly me didn’t realise before I went on Bachie that TV is geared for ratings and unfortunately the show is not interesting without drama as most people get a bit bored of just the lovey dovey stuff, it is a shame to say it, but that is the reality of “reality tv”. As for MAF’s, there are some amazing matches that are definitely smashing it in the love department, which caters for one demographic, then there are the intense dramatic couples that are clearly hating their time which keeps us wanting more. I don’t agree with it but we as consumers drive the content on TV so they will give us what we want and that means it can be at the expense of someone’s personal life, having said that, we do know the potential risks when we go on. The reality of Davina, Ryan, Dean, and Tracey, and it pains me to say this, is that situation is quite common today and is very relatable. I am not condoning this behaviour in any way shape or form, I am saying however, it is a clear depiction of what is going wrong with relationships today and why some people are still single looking for love – a combination of a lack of integrity, communication breakdowns, love-blocks regarding feelings and vulnerability and this is why I am passionate about being a love coach. I totally understand that Davina is there for herself, she deserves love, we all do, but there is self-love and there is sheer lack of compassion, self-awareness and being mindful of other people’s feelings, and that is where I draw the line. Is Davina there for love of fame? Her intentions are unclear amongst others on the show, whilst I don’t know them all personally, my opinion can only be formed based on her actions on the show, yes the show is cut and edited but her words and her actions are true to her, I have also heard from a source that she ended a relationship to go on the show, and that she in fact said to one of my friends “she would steal her boyfriend if she wanted to” and despite that being hearsay it all stacks up after what we have seen. Both Davina and Dean lacked integrity and self-awareness on the show and I feel whilst Davina was the instigator, Dean did follow along with it all and, you know, tried to innocently “play his cards”. I liken the situation to “monkey vining”, it is where you are assessing which partner is best for you whilst holding on to both of them before making your final decision, we should have integrity and let go of the one you are questioning first before you “cheat” or make your decision. “Monkey Vining Definition; It is the act of transitioning from one relationship to another by retaining some form of connection to both people simultaneously. Only when the new relationship is reasonably solidified is the former one wholly released.” There are more people in the equation outside of them and that means there are more feelings involved. I will always say go for what you want and do what makes you happy, but not at the cost of other people’s happiness, you can always be mindful of others and have integrity with your actions whilst taking care of your own needs. Instead of going behind people’s backs, I believe they should have ended their “marriages” first before pursuing the other. Dean didn’t want to pursue Davina because of her dominating personality and Troy is struggling with Ash because of her domineering attitude towards communication, both are prime examples as to why relationships are failing, men don’t know their place and women are becoming more masculine in their approach to dating, but that is a whole different discussion. I am extremely impressed by Tracey, she shows class, integrity, grace and a lot of self-love. I feel marriage is about thick and thin and she made the choice to continue with Dean to see if he is the right one, the divorce rate is rising all the time because we are always looking for the “next best thing” instead of working on what we have right now. I hate to break it to you but we need to mow the lawn on the other side as well. Tracey’s actions can be perceived as being insecure or needy but I think it shows strength, determination and goes against the norm of “hit it and quit it”. If we all had this attitude of acceptance, trust and determination, we would see less breakups and more success when it comes to love. It does obviously take two to tango so
6 Tips to being happy & single everyday
Heart break sucks… So does being lonely, but why does being single mean we have to connect it with being lonely, or unlovable. I am here to say that you don’t have to be alone and lonely. What is loneliness? It is a desperate need to find you, to be comfortable with yourself and comforted by yourself. It is not about who we have surrounding us in our lives even though we look to people to make us feel included. How often do you hear, “WHAT! You’re single? What is wrong with you?” So many times that we now actually believe that there is something wrong with us. This then makes us think we are unworthy and that we need a relationship in order to be considered lovable or acceptable, in turn this leads us to dating the wrong person and ultimately the relationship ends… horribly. We are then shit scared of finding love again because it may end like the last one and hurt like a mofo and no way do we want to go through all the pain and hurt again like we did last time!! Instead we ignore what we truly want, then discover that suppressing what we really want can only last so long before it bubbles up and causes more long-term unhappiness. I know there is a better way for you to experience long-term happiness despite your relationship status. You are not alone in feeling alone. It is normal after being hurt badly, but it is effecting your happiness, our connection with ourselves and other people which in turn causes us to have meaningless and brief connections/relationships all whilst longing and hoping to find love again – we are doing this dance around our emotions – protecting them but actually hurting them. In the short term we avoid any commitment, dating or anything that may mean getting hurt again, “I avoid love because I am unhappy, I am unhappy because I avoid love – It is a vicious cycle!! “ – Belinda I believe that this is a reason why there is more casual sex, tinder dates and less actual dating now than ever before and therefore this trend has impacted the amount of genuine-connected relationships and reduced marriage. Sounds extremely isolating and conflicting to me, do you truly want this to be the case forever? I am not saying that these having casual relationships is a bad thing, as long as you are doing it for the right reasons and you are happy doing that, not because you are filling a gap or void. You just need to decide if this situation is a short-term, band-aid fix to help you to feel connected and briefly remove the feeling of being alone whilst avoiding getting hurt again, or if you are really happy being single. The short-term fix can be fun to start with but then it can also lead to long-term sadness, for two reasons; We are ignoring what we truly want Each time we don’t hear from that person again we are going through the emotion of more “rejection” which leads us wondering what is wrong with me and then looking for the next fix. It is kind of like an addiction. I feel lonely so I need a hit of company – ooh look, Tinder! Next we come down from the high and the reality of being lonely sets in so we repeat. This cycle will continuously repeat if you don’t start breaking this cycle by using the six tips that are coming very soon. The main reason we do this is to avoid getting hurt, but getting hurt is not the problem. In life we will get hurt, by many things and many people, it is about how you deal with and handle the outcome that counts moving forward. Right now you feel like you have hit rock bottom, as the last relationship was a doozy!! Avoiding love and connection is not the solution either. Being happy and single first will enable you to find the right kind of love that you deserve and never fear getting hurt again. How do you do it? Be grateful, not hateful. Things will happen in life to divert you to what is meant to be, a break up is merely a diversion to what you are truly meant to be doing – embrace it Become comfortable and appreciative of time on your own. There may be times in your life ahead that become hectic and you will be wishing you had time to yourself. Reconnect with you during these times Appreciate time with friends; you may even make choices about which friends you keep close – uplifting positive ones are always little gems that should be cherished. Learn to love your good bits and the bits you wish you could change – as they are. Don’t compare yourself to others, only to what you wish to achieve and keep striving for that. Your opinion of being single differs from the next and you don’t need to justify why you are single to anyone. Understand that the way people act is not because of you, this is a projection of their own self-worth, they are enforcing their opinion on to you based on the judgment and lessons they have received from others. Uncovering self-love will enable you to not take things personally anymore. Stop avoiding and start taking risks – the biggest risks have the biggest rewards. You can deal with the outcome when and IF it occurs. Reconnecting with yourself and the steps I discussed will enable you to be more confident about being on your own and finding the genuine-connected love you are looking at the right time and you will never fear getting hurt again – loneliness is just as painful. We are all alone, but we are all in that together. Being single does not mean you are unworthy, unlovable and definitely should not make you feel lonely. Don’t give
